Monday, June 24, 2013

Letters to my daughters: Part one

Lately it seems everywhere I turn, I am getting messages about leaving a legacy. Does God speak to you that way too? Like, suddenly everybody talks about the same thing and you see the same thing in your quiet time and people ask you about it and it's like okay, okay, I get it, what would You like me to know??? :)

Yeah, it's like that.

I take very seriously, this job of training my four daughters. And yet, with everything it takes to care for four children, I get frustrated sometimes. The things I would like for them to know, things I would like to train them in, get passed over. I often rush through dinner preparation while Audrey looks on, because I have something else I have to do afterward, instead of letting her help like she always begs to do. To her credit, she watches anyway, and we have great chats while I frantically throw dinner together. But I wish I could do more. I am determined to read the Bible to the girls, and it's difficult to find a good time. So I read while they eat breakfast many days, in between reminding Tessa to sit down in her chair, asking Hannah to stop playing with toys, and handing Josie another piece of sausage.

I am often amazed at the level of sheer determination it takes to live with purpose. I can know all the things I SHOULD do, and do NONE of them, unless I am fiercely stubborn about what's important. And when I have not been as determined, I have lived with an overwhelming sense that I'm messing it all up. When I know what I ought to do, and don't do it because I'm lazy or have a disobedient heart, that's not okay. And I've been there. I fight against that daily. I know I will never meet every need my children have; God and other people must take their places in my children's lives and hearts as well. But I must do what I know is right. There are no excuses for laziness or rebelliousness.

It is with these thoughts in mind, that I want to start writing for my daughters, their daughters, and their daughters after them. I fully intend to live to 120 years old, since that's how long the Bible says we can live. But sometimes things happen. And I want my girls - all of them - for generations - to have the input of the women who go before them so they can benefit from it. Imagine if you could read the journal of your great-grandmother as she talked about how she pursued God, how she ran her household, and how she loved her husband. That's what I want to leave for my family.

I'm going to publish it here, partially because it's always helpful to have an audience - tends to keep me writing. And maybe, just maybe, it could be helpful to you as well. I'm not an older woman with 80 years of life behind me, but I do have four children, and our house is happily, chaotically peaceful most of the time. There are ways to DO that. And I'd like to share them. And I'd also like to hear your ideas about how YOU do that in your house. I'd like to write about things now, again in middle age, and again late in life, because I think all of those perspectives are helpful and useful and would be interesting to my daughters as they raise their own families.

Thanks for reading. :)

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