It's been quite some time since I did any blogging. There are various reasons for this, not the least being I have FOUR children. We always planned to have four children, but I must admit to being unprepared for the vast amount of work it takes to care for four children. Each one of them is so unique, and they continually amaze me, in good and in sometimes...challenging...ways.
I've been feeling motivated to start blogging again recently. Blogging is a strange thing, because when you share thoughts and feelings, you're sure to find people that disagree. Sometimes not very kindly. That got to me after awhile, and I just quit. But I still love to write. And I think sometimes God teaches me things that would be helpful to share. So here I am, being brave. Be nice to me. Don't say things online that you wouldn't say to somebody's face. :)
It has given me courage recently, to be quickly approaching a year of leading worship now. There was a time not so long ago that I had completely given up hope of ever doing that again. Leading worship is a vulnerable thing to do. There are few things as intimate as one's relationship with God, and to lead worship is to display that relationship for all to see. It's the nature of the thing. I have taken comfort in the fact that none of the people who provide leadership to God's church worldwide, are perfect. Even the famous ones. And somehow God seems to be ok with that.
I wonder if I will ever get over the sense of privilege, of responsibility, and of just plain JOY that I get in being allowed and called to lead worship. Bill Johnson likes to say, "Once you figure out who you were created to be, you'll never want to be anyone else." I love that. I love that God hardwires us with passion and gifts. I love to talk to people about theirs. Leading worship is the thing that fills me back up for the week of pouring my life out for my kids. I love to see my church connect with God and be transformed in His presence. His presence is the only thing that really brings true change to hearts, and comforts us as we walk through life.
Being able to lead with my husband is sweet as well. We met and fell in love as we saw each other's heart for worship. Then we went through a season where we didn't do any of that. We learned to love each other for who we were, apart from what we did. And lately doing we love has been given back to us. Now the biggest challenge is just not to talk worship and leadership and how to best love people, nonstop. :)
Reading back over this, this is just one small aspect of our lives now. Not all aspects are as pretty or exciting, but by way of a reintroduction into our lives, I want you, reader, to know this. If you're still out there, I'd love it if you'd say hi.